Holy crap, we were actually PRODUCTIVE during BABScon? I thought we just partied and got lost in Chinatown. Either way, we have uncovered another lost installment of “Who are you and why should I care?” Today’s guest….Rebecca Shoichet?
Like, the voice of Sunset Shimmer?
Well damn, let’s see how we manage to spaghetti this one up.




Thanks for putting up with us Rebecca.

With the Summer Cup in full semen-slurping swing, one of our lower reporters dig through skype and implyingrigged archives to find the man behind the biggest controversy in the 4chan Cup, Dragonfag. What followed was an interview on friendly terms, just to get a better idea behind the mastermind behind two cup victories with influence in over ten teams.
Bold: Horse News
Standard: Durgenfaf


What teams did you manage/test for in your time?
Full Managing: /3/, /an/, /cm/, /diy/, /hm/, /ic/, /o/, /y/
Sorta lazy not reaaaally managing but having an influence or fucking about or played like 3 games a most: /s/, /vp/, /x/, /jp/
Testing: /mlp/

The obvious question; why test for /mlp/ if you’re not a fan of the show/visit the board?
At the time /mlp/ had just gone through an abysmal babby cup with no manager playing 2-2-2-4 and had >4 goal ‘tenders’. I offered to help about because it’d be pretty funny to see a big and hated team like /mlp/ do well.

Why exactly did you manage so many teams?
too much free tim/bored tbh. I was underage for the vast majority of dragongate and so naturally had no work or hardcore study to eat up my time. I live in a pretty countryside area so meeting up with mates is difficult + costly

Do you have any desire to return to the 4cc?
Well considering how butthurt I’ve been about format change decisions, if it’d let me throw my two cents in for a better cup than this semen slurping summer then sure.

What were some of your favorite matches you managed?
/n/, /cm/ and /sp/ obviously. Always fun to test for /cm/ and /n/ because prime goal was to be as entertaining as possible and so I got tests that always had like 6 goals plus. /sp/ because the fanbase made it great. And also /an/ because I just always loved the board and team. /s/ was also an excuse to just fuck around and do whatever while still winning (like going super offensive all 20’s when winning because why not? Bantering Muzzy’s arab money with filligreesaw was fun too)

Do you have a current favorite team to watch?
Right now /gd/ and /x/ are some of my favourites to watch.

How about a team that you once managed? Do you have any fond feelings for /sp/, /n/, or even /an/? 
Which of them look the strongest now with their new managers?
I’m biased to most if not all of the teams I managed because with about 3 exceptions I go to all of them. Right now I’d fancy /sp/, /an/ or /x/ to do best out of my former teams.

Speaking of which, would it have ever been /o/’s year?
It would have been in Spring if not for a bit of bad luck vs /soc/. Their formation before dragongate was a sick 3-3-2-2 that could have gone really far in any tournament, kinda like /toy/ under tinker/toy/ before he ragequit

Is it true that your hips are wider than your shoulders?


Would you say that a match against PES12 /m/ would have had you beat?
No. /an/ was the only team I managed (after I downloaded PES. I went in to Spring12 blind) that faced /m/ in their prime from Spring-Summer. And then became the first team to shut out /m/’s attack entirely. All testing for /sp/ in summer indicated that they were hugely beatable (4-0 and 5-0 games on test stream) but I rarely played them in PES12. but I doubt it would have stopped me that much.

Looking at the Summer Cup standings, who’s your favorite to win?
I have good feelings about /u/ and /x/

Last Question; if the ban was lifted on you, would you return to cup activity?
>ban
>lifted
Gr8 b8 m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8.

In a culture obsessed with money and advertising, it seems companies reach newer and newer lows each day. Even companies born from the cesspool of the internet somehow find a way to outdo themselves. YouTube is no exception, because even after literally advertising videos as if they were television shows, they now advertise virtual horse fucking in the form of Howrse.com



The advertisement in question came from the video known as Rocks and Stuff, a modest video with just under sixty-five thousand views. Normally we wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about something like this, but OP decided he should point out something very interesting. Besides showing that he is in fact an idiot for not using adblock, he also showed something very disturbing from YouTube’s targeted advertising. 

A game about Horse breeding.



So is it true? With advertisements for a game like Howrse or the blatant video suggestions leading to horses making whoopie, has YouTube taken advantage of the disgusting nature of Bronies and appealed to their sexual urges?

More than likely, yes. It’s a giant company, of course they’d do something so low for profit. However that isn’t important. It turns out there’s a free game about Horse Breeding and we’re only just now finding out? Are you kidding me? 

Well we at Horse News immediately took interest and created accounts of our very own to get in on the action. My pony, properly named Critic Sprinkles, was soon ready and designed. Now it was time to get in on that sweet pony action…


…holy shit this is boring. No seriously, not one moment of Horse Tang at all. Granted there is a section for breeding, but you can’t even access it right away. It has to be earned through ungodly amounts of weak RPG action. Feeding, stroking, grooming, it’s just all so boring. I pressed on though, wanting to see if there was any pay out at all.

Wait what is this?



Well it seems that aside from being boring, Howrse is also apart of the occult, stealing rituals from the devil worshiping mind of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. As if this game wasn’t disappointing enough, it seems it has aligned itself with a dirty, lesser fandom instead of a proper one. 

So after repeating the basic functions of feeding, playing, and aging, you can finally ride your pony! Aw yeah, this is going to be great!


Side note: Why the hell is the mascot a monkey?
While this isn’t a sexy form of riding, it’s still the only exciting thing to happen since finding out about the dark magic hidden in the site. And at the ripe age of a year and six months, it took a bit of time and effort. I retract that last statement on the grounds that nothing fucking happened.

Let me give you the short version until you can breed. You age your horse to two years old, allowing it to train. If you haven’t killed your horse by forgetting to feed it or increase moral or whatever the hell this game uses, then you continue your quest. Blah blah blah, add six months to your age and finally your horse can do the shiggy.



Once you reach the official legal age for pony sex (2 years and 6 months) the game decides to set you up with a free mare. An older mare, we might add. In addition to your own personal whore owned breeding mare, you also can be your very own boss by offering yourself to the public or even setting up breeding with friends. Oh boy let’s see what’s about to go down!


Aw yes! It’s a match, so you know what that means? Hardcore, aching, beautiful, wet Horse se-



-THAT’S IT? Okay that tears it, this game is NOT sexy. I didn’t get one erection, the “gameplay” is boring and falls in line with every other text based role playing game on the internet ever, it also has a trap to make you buy tokens (again, like every other internet game), and I didn’t get one erection. I do not recommend this game, and would also like to add shame on YouTube’s targeted advertising for not delivering what it promises.

I give this game 2 NashEFN pussy twitter rants out of 10, and would never recommend it to anyone. Unless your fetish is boring text based horse breeding, then by all means, have at it. If you do, make sure to breed with Critic Sprinkles.





This gif really had nothing to do with anything, but it was glorious so I had to use it. Horse News seriously hopes you breed with all our horses, because we put out easily.

It’s not any secret that this hiatus is seeking to starve us dry from content. Because of this, horsefuckers search endlessly for any hint of news of the upcoming season. It was on this ongoing quest, that an anon found what seems like an oasis in the desert. Is it salvation, or simply a mirage? Who gives a damn, we’re going to go take a sip of whatever it is.

http://ift.tt/1x2tYRL

http://ift.tt/1ug7Jvq

A tumblr post that has gone largely unnoticed for over 2 months, has dropped an interesting piece of gossip regarding John DeLancie, conqueror of pirates, and Season 5 of MLP.


According to the post by a user named “a-happy-pear”, John DeLancie at Dallas Comic Con confirmed canon FlutterCord shipping in Season 5.

he told that on Thursday he had been recording for an episode of mlp and that he and fluttershy were talking and Fluttershy asks if she can bring another friend to their next get together and then Discord gets super jealous.”

Is it true?
Fuck if we know. We do know that they are currently in the process of recording Season 5 so it’s entirely possible. Also Hasbro is on a mission to steal ALL your waifus, so yeah this is probably happening.


We did confirm that John DeLancie WAS in-fact at Dallas Comic Con during the alleged encounter.
Stay Tuned for more leaks.

The Official #PantyHorse Swimsuit and Lingerie Competition Results
from left to right
HorseNews Winner - Horsecoming Queen - Mrs. HorseNews 2014

HorseNews Winner - Horsecoming King - Mr. HorseNews 2014

RunnerUp - HorseNews Princess - Mrs. Crotchboobs 2014

RunnerUp - HorseNews Princess - Mrs. Datflank 2014

RunnerUp - HorseNews Princess - Mrs. Whyboner 2014

RunnerUp - HorseNews Princess - Mrs. IWTCI 2014

Congratulations to all our winners and thank you to everyone who entered.
If you were an entrant, please send us your mailing information so that you may receive your prizes.

http://www.horse-news.net/2014/07/the-resultes-are-in-our-swimsuit.html



We’ve been deliberating the
#PantyHorse contest entries over the last 24 hours. It’s been a long….hard….decision, but the results are in and our judges have rendered their decisions, with the help of our audience. The Official Horsecoming Queen and “Mrs. HorseNews 2014” is….




Contestant 19! Winning both the popular vote as well as our staff’s vote making her the clear-cut #PantyHorse swimsuit and lingerie contest grand-prize winner. She will receive a parcel containing a selection of /mlp/-related art-prints, packages of MLP trading cards, a pony plushie, and a #HorseFamous tshirt from Capper’s shop.


Our official “Mr. HorseNews” for 2014 is Contestant #22, who will receive the same grand prize, and the right to the title of “HorseComing King 2014”. Being that this is a pageant that we made up and we decide the rules to, we have also decided to give prizes and titles to our top-4 runner ups!

Just like in the show, there will be 4 princesses in this year’s competition. In no particular order the Horsecoming court consists of the following.


Contestant #21 will be Crowned a HorseNews Princess, as she is this year’s “Mrs. Whyboner” for being both hot and adorable at the same time.


Contestant #8 will be crowned a HorseNews Princess, as she is this year’s “Mrs. Datflank” for…dat ass.


Contestant #10 will be crowned a HorseNews Princess, as she is this year’s “Mrs. Crotchboobs” for…dem tits.


And Contestant #14 will be crowned a HorseNews Princess, as she is this year’s “Mrs. IWTCI” for her overall presentation.

Each will receive smaller prizes. Congratulations and thank you to everyone who entered. All our entrants who send us their mailing information will receive a small token of our gratitude in the mail.

Enjoy your #HorseFame

this screen a lot.


     It was a long 24 hours as Horse News played games such as “Brony Con The Game!” (Diablo), “Left For Dead 2”, Civilization V and many more.






 The stream was very successful as Horse News raised $0 for the van, 10 views the whole time. At the beginning the stream crashed and froze a lot. That’s kind of what you get for planing this for a week but get it all set up within 60 minutes.

       In ‘Brony Con The Game” we watch Fimphiliacs battle his way through Brony con as Luran Faust trying to escape Brony con. She then fight Dustykat (the Butcher) for the title of the manlest Brony. This causes an upwar and everyone wants the title so it makes Brony Con a war zone. She then fights Ranka chunk aka Rina Chan (the skeleton dude). We never get to see the final battle with Final Draft.
Horse News losing sanity.

     When Horse News was done sucking at left for dead we changed the game host, but when we did some extrem haxor named faggy fagerson  Hijacked the stream by logging in before anyone else could. He then made an infinity loop of a dubstep song as it over laps, then he made his own call and play some mincraft game named “Rift”. He then showed images of Capper’s OC butt fucking a futa rarity. Rarity said ” pls no masta cappa” or something. It was a very tragic event and left many triggered. They then started doing prank calls and got reported by a unknown sexy anonymous man. The 24 hour stream was put to a different channel and was even more successful with 4 VIEWERS!

    As you can see the stream was very well planend, we raised $0, and nothing wronghappvankdd. We will be sure to do a Christmas Stream. GET HYPE!!
srsbronydrama

srsbronydrama:

horsenews:

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The Horse News Swimsuit and Lingerie contest is now closed! Thanks to all of our entrants. We will now be deliberating to determine this year’s Winners. The audience will help us determine the victors with our panel of judges. Check out the entrants below and vote for your favorite .


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Vote for your choices at http://ift.tt/1nefPPK

These are my Top 5, but #19 is clearly running away with it. Sorry rawrcharlierawr, HN should ban professional cosplayers next time lol.

What is a “Professional” cosplayer?

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The Horse News Swimsuit and Lingerie contest is now closed! Thanks to all of our entrants. We will now be deliberating to determine this year’s Winners. The audience will help us determine the victors with our panel of judges. Check out the entrants below and vote for your favorite .

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Vote for your choices at http://ift.tt/1nefPPK


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